Hey gang!! Happy Friday! It’s bright and sunny outside and there’s a bird going absolutely feral chirping outside my window. It’s officially summer!!
It has been BOILING here all week — in the 90s! (Please remember that we do not have central air in most spaces here so our little window units are doing their best.)
Somehow, even with a bit of humidity, it still didn’t feel as bad as when I was down in Texas last month. In fact, I even managed to get a couple of short walks in for some errands around the neighborhood. There was a slight breeze, so it kind of took the edge off.
This week, I’ve mostly just been hanging out and trying to tie up loose ends before I start my new job on Monday!!
I’m actually a little nervous! I haven’t worked full time in over a year, and I’m hoping I won’t end up feeling exhausted after everything gets going. Luckily, next week is shorter days for training so I’ll get a little ramp up into everything. I’m really excited — I have high hopes that it’s going to be super fun doing something new.
I feel like I was so incredibly burned out from working at very difficult jobs + the stress of the pandemic, so I’m really grateful to have had this break and some time to recover. Although it’s been extremely financially detrimental (another kind of stress in and of itself), I do think I’m coming in to this new gig as a stronger and more complete person.
As I mentioned last week — the last couple of years have been full of every possible kind of upheaval, and it’s really, really nice to feel like some tiny victories are finally headed my way. I’m proud of myself for focusing my energy toward the things that I love the most, and it’s pretty amazing to see some of that start to pay off. So: send good vibes next week as I take the next steps in my career as a Writer™!
Now: as always, I’ve been on the web a ton, so — let’s get on to the news of the week!
Cry Me a River
As you likely know by now, Justin Timberlake was arrested this week in the Hamptons for driving under the influence. His very well-lit mugshot has been making the rounds online (leaving many wondering if the Hamptons police department has a ring light), along with a couple of very specific details from the night of the arrest:
First, the arresting officer was so young he had no idea who Justin Timberlake was, which has been an incredibly painful realization for millennials (and honestly also has to have been a massive ego bruise to JT himself). And yes — for what it’s worth, I am indeed in agony: I am an ancient crone, my bones are made of dust, death comes for us all, etc. etc.
Then secondly, there’s this gem:
“Justin said under his breath, ‘This is going to ruin the tour.’ The cop replied, ‘What tour?’ Justin said, ‘The world tour.'”
THE DRAMA!! Of course, this phrase has been meme’d to death this week, so enjoy this round-up, along with my personal favorite:
Also, prepare for me to say “this is going to ruin the tour” at every minor inconvenience from now until I forget about this.
Oh, and I’ve got to include one more good tweet for posterity:
(Flying) Rat City, Bitch
Are seagulls the rats of the sky? All *signs* point to yes.
“The seagulls don’t work for us” is sending me.
“Nothing to see here!! We are not paying the seagulls to take your food the second you leave so that you have to come back and make another purchase. We’ve made no deals with the seagulls! Pay no attention to the guy out back offering them Sacagawea dollar coins1 and fries in exchange for your meal!”
As a lover of scavenger-type animals of all kinds, I have a deep appreciation for seagulls and their brazen dive bombing for food. Plus, I will never stop getting a kick out of this:
Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
I mean, they have absolutely no fear. You gotta hand it to ‘em.
Your food, that is. Or else.
Oh, and speaking of rats, I am in need of the second sticker here:
Unfortunately: I would die for this, and then my husband would refuse to let me put it on our car.
Shameless self-promotion corner
I had a little one-line joke published today in a group piece on the Belladonna, titled How Belladonnas Are Staying Cool In This Heat Wave!
I love when we gather the group together to brainstorm a big piece like this. Always super fun, and always a perfect opportunity for me to reference a Batman villain!
Randomly selected animal cutie
Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
I cannot believe how fast these dogs get photo ready. Somebody call Tyra Banks and get these dogs on America’s Next Top (Dog) Model!! All they need is a quick lesson on smizing and they’re ready for a Vogue cover!
That’s it from me this week! I’m off to enjoy my last two days of freedom before I ~rejoin the workforce~. Have a wonderful weekend!!
K
Remember when we thought everyone was going to be excited to use dollars in coin form? Where even are all of these things? I haven’t seen one since I was in high school.
I had NOT seen that Augustus Gloop one yet and I cried laughing. And the seagulls?!? What a great week for the internet. No wonder my screen time is up. Can’t wait to hear about the new job, Kelley! Congrats again!
Good luck next week Kelley!!