Hey gang!! Happy Friday!!
I’m running a bit late today because, as you know, I HAVE TO WORK NOW. Yes, I have work. A JOB. I have one. Me. Very busy business girl now. You know.
Honestly, my job is…dare I say…excellent? I’m really loving it so far, which feels completely insane. I can’t remember ever starting a job and enjoying it this much. I can’t remember ever liking WORK this much. Like…I’m going to get a paycheck for this?? Okay. If you say so. I’m truly still in disbelief.
This week has been a ton of trainings on super interesting topics like creating thumbnails and SEO and photo rights and then also being LITERALLY TASKED to spend the afternoon looking through Twitter and Reddit.
WHY CERTAINLY. YES. I WILL GLADLY DO THAT. 🤷🏼♀️
It’s overcast here today, which I don’t love, but I can cope because that also means it’s not the temperature of the surface of the sun and I can happily wear a sweatshirt. I know I’ve said this a million times but fall clothes are my best clothes!! My sweatshirt collection is made to be in regular rotation1!
One of my humor writing friends that I met at the Erma Bombeck conference is in town for work, and we met up last night at a very cool Tiki Bar for dinner and drinks (and then also got milkshakes from Firecakes afterward) and tooled around the riverwalk a bit. It was super great to see her and get out of the house a little! And it also meant that I had an excuse to skip watching the debate, which I’m quite relieved about (who needs yet another existential crisis in the year of our lord 2024?).
SO. I’ve been super busy this week in training and getting into the swing of things, but as you know — nothing stops me from being online. NOTHING. And now, going forward, I’m going to be online ON PURPOSE. FOR WORK. I am invincible.
ONTO THE NEWS OF THE WEEK!
Flight time
This week, the internet’s main character seems to be Men Rawdogging Flights™. Essentially, these are dudes who get on an airplane with absolutely no entertainment or snacks of any kind and just sit, head facing forward, focused on the in-flight map for hours at a time.
No thoughts, no feelings, just…flying.
(Also: if you’re wondering about the etymology of the word rawdogging, here’s a link to Urban Dictionary.)
This seems completely fucking unhinged to me. To be fair, my personal item usually has my skincare in it (I usually carry everything on anyway, but even if I check my bag I keep it on me because if I lost my creams I’d go full Super Saiyan), but is also stuffed with at least one book, my iPad and/or MacBook Air, my phone, my neck pillow, 1-2 types of headphones, a granola bar, a water bottle, an extra phone battery so I can play Candy Crush (or Wordscapes if I intend to instantly fall asleep), and a bag of Sour Patch Kids I paid $43 for in the airport.
Anyway, GQ did a piece on the phenomenon that’s worth reading. I was particularly perturbed by this gentleman’s thought process:
“I am a nervous flier and generally cannot focus on anything on a plane—movies, TV shows, books, articles, whatever—with any success,” says Luke Winkie, a 33-year-old staff writer at Slate, who has used the flight map as his only in-flight entertainment for years. “For some reason I don't like processing new information when I'm in the air. I want to stick to things that are predictable and safe.”
HOW?! Because the thing is, like — if there is more than one second on an airplane where I am not entertained, I begin realizing that I am on a small metal tube that is TENS OF THOUSANDS OF FEET IN THE AIR. I then must come to terms with the fact that I will one day die, and there is a non-zero possibility that that day could be today. God, I can just hear the narrator from Air Disasters now.
Am I alone in this? I truly cannot comprehend sitting idly for more than one second at a time in my normal, on the ground life. Why should the air be any different? (Please note: if my phone worked underwater and I had any desire to enter the sea, I’d be taking it there, too.) Have you ever rawdogged a flight?? If so, was it on purpose or because you somehow lost your phone and bag in an airport bathroom? Please tell me!!
Billionaire…Girls?
I’ve spent years now keeping faithful TMI readers abreast of the insane behavior of our favorite Billionaire Boys™, but was thrilled to find out this week that women can be insane billionaires too!! Girl power, baby!
One of my lovely new coworkers brought to my attention one BINA48, a robot commissioned by Martine Rothblatt in the likeness of her wife, Bina Aspen Rothblatt. Wikipedia tells us that BINA48:
is a robotic face combined with chatbot functionalities, enabling simple conversation facilities” [and] “connects to the Internet and has thirty-two facial motors under a skin of rubber. Though without a complete body, the head-and-shoulder robotics express sixty-four different facial gestures. It employs a mix off-the-shelf software and customized artificial intelligence algorithms, as well as a microphone, voice recognition software, dictation software, two video cameras, and facial recognition software to remember frequent visitors.”
“Though without a complete body.”
WITHOUT A COMPLETE BODY.
Cool.
I know you think you’re ready to see BINA48, but I’d like you to take just a moment, and ask yourself — really ask yourself — are you truly ready to lay your eyes upon her?
Knowing that what has been seen cannot be unseen, are you willing to take this leap?
Deep down, in the depths of your soul, are you prepared for the battles to come?
If the answer is yes, then take a look at this:
If you’re looking at that image thinking, “come on now, this isn’t that bad,” then here, watch this:
“Let’s talk about something else, okay? Like cruise missiles.” EXCUSE ME???
You say you love your wife, yes, Martine?
Why, WHY would you build this terrifying, hollow effigy?? If Damon made a robot of me that looked like this and talked about world domination I honestly would assume he was quietly asking a lawyer to draw up divorce papers. This thing is screaming “it’s not me, it’s you.”
In the 2012 book Lost at Sea: The Jon Ronson Mysteries, in the chapter "Doesn't Everyone Have a Solar?", author Jon Ronson describes his interview with BINA48 in Vermont. At first, BINA48 speaks in a confused way and a caregiver turns her off and back on again. Towards the end of the interview, she begins to answer with clarity and accuracy about her brother, the real brother of Bina Rothblatt. In an article for The Guardian, Ronson wrote, "And even though my conversation with BINA48 often descended into a crazed babble, there were moments of real clarity."
Wow. I mean, I guess if anything ever happens to original Bina, Martine can enjoy the rest of her life with this partial Bina. Maybe she’s truly ahead of the game here. If BINA48 nags her about leaving dishes on the counter, taking better care of the yard, or not being helpful enough hacking the US power grid — oopsie, time for a quick lil power cycle. All better!
Classification-wise, I feel like Martine kind of ties in with our “I’m gonna find a way to live forever” billionaire crew — but in this case, it’s her wife that’s going to live forever, simply in the partial torso of a robot that can talk freely about her brother but may just start going fucking insane at any time.
Also…could we make sure, somehow, that BINA48 doesn’t see this? I definitely still want to be on her good side during the robot uprising. And…uh…maybe we remove the movie War Games from the robot’s memory? Just a thought.
Billionaires. Living the dream, baby.
What I’m reading
This week was the launch of my buddy Asher Perlman’s first book of cartoons called Well, This Is Me2! I’m so excited to attend his book release party at Second City on Sunday too — though I did already receive my copy in the mail!!
I’ve known Asher for around 14 years and he is truly one of my favorite people on the planet. Of course we were both part of the Chicago comedy scene for many years, but he also was my very first mentor at the Apple Retail store and we worked day jobs together at Apple and Groupon, too. Seeing his success has been such a joy! He’s so talented and funny, and you should pick up his book (and also follow him on Instagram!) for gems like these:
Randomly selected animal cutie
This is so wonderfully lovely. I actually had no idea that you could train horses in this way, and it seems so nice because it’s like — he’s totally cool with and is actually actively choosing to take her for a ride! Love.
That’s it from me this week! I’m going to try to get back to a better schedule writing these things since I can’t spend half of Friday rolling around in bed with my laptop anymore — so you can expect next week’s newsy at a more normal hour. Hope everyone has a great weekend!!
K
This is partially because they do not all fit in my sweatshirt drawer, but I refuse to get rid of any of them. THEY’RE ALL BRINGING ME JOY. BACK OFF, MARIE KONDO!
If you purchase his book (which you should do) via my link here, I may get a few pennies in return.
Oh my god, if I didn't have AT LEAST a book on my flight with me I would explode!! Which seems hazardous for the plane!!!