4 Billion Banana Breads
Internet round-up for the week of May 11, 2026
Hiya, pals!
Reporting live(ish) to you today from Williamsport, Pennsylvania, the site of the St. Nell’s Reunion! You may recall when I made my excursion out here last fall for a writer’s residency, and now I’m back to hang out with other former attendees!
(Of course you know my ass is going for scones ASAP. Duh.)
I’m staying at a hotel I’ve been informed is haunted, and I’ll be honest, this photo I took of the place isn’t doing it any favors.
Will report back if I have any run-ins with the spirit world.
After an incredibly long drive yesterday (I am so, so thankful there were four of us to switch off driving and keep up the convo throughout), I am INCREDIBLY tired. So, I’m just gonna quickly regale ya with the goods from this week:
Brands a-branding
Smoothie King, purveyors of the famous (?) Tomato Ketchup Smoothie, have an important new announcement this week:
Yes, that’s right — it’s a “Grillo’s Pickles” Smoothie!
If the color weren’t off-putting enough, have a look at this list of ingredients:
Grillo's Pickles®, Bananas, Apple Juice Blend, Kiwi Apple Juice Blend, Electrolyte Blend, Coconut Water, Kale - Organic
Grillo’s Pickles, BANANAS.
I’m sorry. Are the R&D teams ill? I realize I’m a Grade A pickle hater, but I cannot imagine any flavor that pickles work with LESS than BANANAS.
Do you think they just like, bought too many ‘naners? And instead of being forced to make 4 billion banana breads when they go bad, they thought the solution was just to cram all their nearly-ripe fruit into a smoothie featuring PICKLES???
Also wondering if they’ve considered sending Jimmy John’s 65 emails about this.
Not to be outdone, I’ve also seen some rumors that Cheez-It has an upcoming collab with….Coors Light:
“Coors Light Beer Cheese” sounds like how I’d describe the smell of a locker room full of frat guys. And I thought beer cheese was supposed to be made with like, a good beer? Not like, everyone’s first choice of the last beer left at the bottom of the ice chest on 4th of July.
But hey, what do I know? Maybe it’s great (it’s not).
Billionaire Boys
Quick check in on Beej:
All is well.
(If you don’t think that tweet is cropped and is, in reality, quite long, well, you’ve got another thing coming.)
Also, what the hell is forest bathing?
***I have just been informed that forest bathing is WALKING IN THE WOODS.***
Cool.
Randomly selected animal cutie
The animals are adorable here (we love to save dumpster diving wildlife!!!!), but the accent really makes this video:
Theya’s a raccoon and a squirrel in heeya! And honestly? He’s right. That was fuckin’ awesome.
That’s it from me this week! I’m off to enjoy hanging with a bunch of very cool and funny people for the weekend. Have a good one!
K
I nominate the Wisconsin beagles for next week’s animal cutie