California, Here We...Are
Internet round-up for the week of August 1, 2022
Good morning from sunny California! I realize by the time I send this out it’ll already be afternoon on the east coast, because I live in the past now. This time change has been brutal — my hubs and I have been eating dinner at like 3:45 all week. I’m sure we’ll get adjusted to it eventually, though.
We had an amazing drive across the western half of the country. It was a great reminder of just how gorgeous this country (and the planet) is. We drove through corn fields in Iowa and Nebraska,
rode the Colorado Super Chair in the mountains of Breckenridge,
saw and smelled the (very, very dry) Great Salt Lake in Utah,
and also stopped in Reno (Not pretty. Sorry Renoans. Or is it Renoites?) before finally making it to our temporary place in Mountain View.
So far I’m just surprised by how quiet it is here. In Chicago, we lived directly in front of a bus stop, so it was active all day, all the time. Plus, we were across the street from a tow yard, which meant lots of angry yelling, cops being called, and guys filling our house with diesel exhaust while they were doing work on their tow trucks directly in front of our apartment. The only place I’ve really seen a crowd here so far is the Target parking lot, where we somehow had to drive around until someone pulled out so we could get a spot. Suburbia.
All the travel plus starting a new job this week has left my internet consumption like Flo Rida’s shawty: Low.
BUT, I’ve still got a few goodies for ya! To quote Alex Dobrenko from Both are True (who has a messy desk after my own heart): “without further adele”:
I’m Being Personally Attacked
I really don’t understand why Twitter has to come for me like this every week.
I just packed up and moved, and waiting patiently for me in my Pod is my Bag of Bags™.
And now, I’m about to age myself.
One of my first “real” jobs was working for a country radio station in Houston (93Q, for anyone local) in promotions, which basically entailed driving the station’s van fleet around and handing out free, branded items (stickers, koozies, t-shirts, etc.).
We were typically stationed at car dealerships, bars, and grocery stores, and sometimes attended an opening of a new small business. A DJ would meet us there in their own car, and we’d have to crank a massive antenna up out of the van so they could radio in live and let listeners know they should stop by to meet a DJ and get free junk.
In order for us to get to these locations, we had to use: printed out MapQuest directions. When we arrived for work, there would be a stack of information about the onsite: the contact to check in with when we arrived, what items and setup were expected (tent, prize wheel, mini golf, etc.), what DJ we’d be working with, and MapQuest directions.
If you’ve never tried to use MapQuest directions in your life — don’t. That’s all I can say. I have never gotten off and back on the highway in quick succession more times than while flipping through 3-4 stapled pages trying to find the a specific exit. Also, once, they gave me directions to a spot and it was one of those things where it’s a repeated street name in a different city, meaning I drove over an hour in the wrong direction and ended up having someone read me MapQuest directions over the phone so I could get to the right place. Woof.
As an aside, I have a lot of stories I could tell from this job, and this little reminder makes me think it’d be nice to write some of them down. Perfect, I’ll just add them to the writing queue. *unfurls 12 ft long scroll*
Good Read
This satire piece in McSweeney’s by the talented Eli Grober really hit home this week since we spent so much time on the road. I read it aloud in the car and we cackled hysterically and pointed out all the lunatic drivers for the rest of the trip.
Randomly Selected Animal Cutie
Train’s here!
Hope you all have a great week! See ya next Friday!
K
I'm so glad Mapquest is dead. The first time I used MapQuest I bought a Rand McNally State atlas instead. Can't wait to hear more about your radio station job!