I Am a Tooth

Internet round-up for the week of November 28, 2022

Happy Friday! It’s a gorgeous, sunny morning here on the west coast, and the apartment building is replacing the floor in a neighboring unit with what feels like a jackhammer the size of Delaware! I know what you’re thinking — “wow, isn’t that loud?” and the answer is: yes, yes it is. On the bright side, I now know what it feels like to be an incisor while a molar gets root canal’ed. Really cool experience.

I want you to know that I spent some time finding just the right weird little tooth image. The eyebrows. The fact that this tooth has a mouth, and that mouth has teeth. The three stars making him look like he’s in a daze as he stares off into oblivion. Just right.

One exciting thing this week: I finally pulled the trigger on getting myself a new laptop! Yes, that’s right — I’m writing this now from the new computer I finally bought myself, and boy oh boy — everything’s just like…working? And it’s fast? No weird lag, and I have at least 40 tabs open? 💃🏼 Not me putting something off for 6 months only to realize I should absolutely have done it sooner. *glances at IL license plate I still haven’t gone to the DMV to replace*

Yesterday we finished up Only Murders in the Building, which we managed to binge in a couple of weeks. It’s so fun! I’ll admit, when I first saw the trailer for the show, I expected it to just be a lot of OTT Steve Martin and Martin Short gags. There’s definitely some silly physical comedy, but it’s surprisingly well written and one of those shows that hooks you immediately. Also somehow, it feels weirdly light even though it’s about solving murders. Highly recommend it!

Ooh also, before I forget, another cheating scandal this week! The hosts of GMA are apparently cheating on their spouses with each other:

Jason Okundaye @jasebyjason

The Good Morning America cheating scandal is giving what a scandal needs to. High stakes (co-anchors on the most watched American newscast), audacity (65 photos of broad daylight cheating), and evidence hiding in plain sight (the guy’s anniversary post)

This is the anniversary post in question. Unexpectedly, people seem to be happy for them? I have seen some chatter that they may both already be separated from their spouses, but hoo boy. Wild. GMA has basically said it’s all good because they’re in a consensual relationship and are at the same level. No Try Guys here.

Anyway, on to the goods!

I’m Being Personally Attacked

introverts memes @introvertsmemes

Introverts be like: 11:00 am - anything is possible 2:00 pm - but not today

It is 9:30 AM and I am doing work! Do not check in on me when I am slumped over on the couch at 3PM watching Holiday Baking Championship!

Vintage Meme Making The Rounds

Tolly @tolly_t

It’s that season.

Is this a meme? It is, at least, an old video. I love this kid.

Midwest is Best

Taking you back to Chicago today for this fun little nugget:

Matt Lindner @mattlindner

Tourists, if you are paying $530 for this, don’t. (H/t ⁦@nbcchicago⁩)

This is…the wildest shit I’ve ever seen. I need to know if anyone has paid for this, and I hope the answer is no.

For the unfamiliar — the cost of the food here cannot be more than like $50, and all three of those buildings are free to enter. So uh…is the Uber ride $480? For that price, I’d literally personally chauffeur you to all these restaurants.

Matt Lindner @mattlindner

I'm glad that we are all united on the fact that $532 for a hot dog, bag of popcorn, Italian beef sandwich, deep dish pizza, and a donut PLUS "admission" to three places you can get into for free is absolute bullshit.

Beware of travel scams, I guess? 🤯

Oh, and one other thing:

Which one of you is buying me Target: Rats - The Board Game for Christmas?

Wholesome Fun

Chandler Dean @chandlerjdean

It’s February 2020 and a UCB weekend team is about to ask for a one-word suggestion

A little humor for anyone who’s ever been to an improv show. Also, always nice to be reminded of the video of Steve Ballmer going absolutely feral over “Developers”.

Sam Fortier @Sam4TR

Brian Robinson said his friend has a “big hat” company. “If you want a big hat, let me know.”

Me: HAhahaha how ridiculous
Also me: I…think I want the giant hat

Vincent Alexander @NonsenseIsland

This is one of my favorite Road Runner gags because it's such a ludicrous idea that could go wrong in a million different ways, and then it goes wrong in the simplest. Such brilliant animation in the bit where Wile E. tries to keep balance.

I have such a nostalgic affinity for Looney Tunes, and this literally made me laugh out loud. Another cool thing that popped up in the thread is the list of rules for those cartoons:

Meredith Frost @MeredithFrost

Chuck Jones' rules for writing the Road Runner & Wile E. Coyote cartoons. Brilliant. uproxx.com/tv/2015/03/coy…

Fantastic.

Herstory

cait @punished_cait

you watch ANY dateline and you learn real quick there's nothing more dangerous than "lighting up a room". it's on every episode. that's why i don't light up anything. i make places worse when i get there

A good reminder.

Randomly Selected Animal Cutie

Alex M. Kintner @AlexKintner3

I've watched this on an endless loop for 15 minutes.

I cannot get over this!! It makes me want a bird. Should I get a bird?

That’s it from me this week! Hope you have a lovely weekend. I’ll just be over here opening and closing tabs at will, since that’s something I can do now 😄 💻

K