I Went To An OFFICE!

Internet round-up for the week of August 8, 2022

Aug 12, 2022

Happy Friday, friends!

What a week! I’ve actually been in to the office…twice! I haven’t worked from an office at all since March of 2020. It was a wild experience just being back at a desk outside of my living space. I’m surprised to report: I actually enjoyed it. My new company works on a hybrid model, 2 days at home and 3 days in the office, and I think that’ll be pretty nice. To be fair, though, I’m getting excellent free snacks and actual meals, so there are some major perks. Also, we live about 15 minutes away, so the commute is negligible.

Disclaimer: I am not, and will not, become one of those “It’s time to go back to the office!” people. Not now, not ever. Everyone should be able to sit in their sweatpants all day long without being bothered.

Overall, my internet consumption has been low, again (I mean, don’t ask my screen time app — I mean it’s been low for me, which is probably still more than any normal human being) but I have a few things to share with you anyway! Here they are:

Green Thumb

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned before how much I love plants. One of the most harrowing parts of our cross-country journey was keeping all of my beloved plant babies safe. I’m happy to say that they all made it, and so far everyone is looking pretty good! My Christmas cactus lost a couple of its branches, but I’m trying to root them. Send good vibes.

ANYway, I needed to share this:

A fish inexplicably @fish_squeezer

So I tried to create a cute bubble bath cactus planter a couple years ago but then it grew a grotesque face, extra appendages, and a penis and then it grew ruby slippers and the penis blossomed and now I don't know what to tell my kids and nobody wants to tour my garden anymore.

A bathtub-shaped pot with clear glass marbles that look like bubbles contains a spherical Mammillaria cactus with cacti pups in the pattern of a misshapen face on one end. The middle and other end contain four long, hairy monkeytail cactus branches arranged like the limbs of a person taking a bath. Numerous smaller monkeytail branches are emerging, including a phallic one near the "crotch" of the plant. The cactus phallus and the "feet" have red flowers on the ends.

Plants. They do what they want. 🤷‍♀️

Good Read

Admittedly, this piece from McSweeney’s is a couple of years old, but this is the first time I’ve seen it.

What does it say about me that I identify more with the teen in this piece than the adult?

You know what? Don’t tell me.

Nostalgia Corner

Oh, Chicago.

autodesk® hate account 🦆 @duckbldg

not many people know this, but the rats in the chicago alleys are free, you can just take them

During my last week there I spent a late night at a friend’s place downtown, just chatting and eating salads and watching Love Island. When I left, I drove through the city just to go by my old office buildings and cruise around a little bit one last time before we moved.

I started to get a little teary and pulled up at an intersection to get on the highway, and then this MASSIVE rat appeared and started munching on some crap it found in the street, and I could not stop laughing. All in all, a perfect Chicago night.

I’m Being Personally Attacked

jake krantz @jakekrantz

When your parents checked to make sure you were sleeping

Replace all this with me just reading a book, but yes.

no context nathan @NathanForYouOoC

From one robot to another: please go watch The Rehearsal. It’s perfect.

Randomly Selected Animal Cutie

I saw this in the wee hours of the morning when I was awake before my alarm (thanks, time change!) and I was trying not to make any noise while I was laughing and instead ended up shaking the whole bed.