I'm a Historical Figure
Internet round-up for the week of February 21, 2023
Hiya! Happy Friday!
I realized this morning that if I always open complaining about a weird thing the weather’s doing, I’ll never run out of content, because it’s just going to get weirder and weirder until we’re all dead! (Don’t worry, I’m fine! Just having a small existential crisis because of Mattel, which I’ll discuss in a sec!) Anyway, California is having some wild rain/snow storms, and it’s cold!
I’m not complaining, but it’s like, when you sign up for “California” you have some expectations. Ultimately I’m just happy I get to wear my puffy coat.
Physical: 100 wrapped up this week and the finale did not disappoint. They also seemed to leave things open for another season, so fingers crossed we get one!
We’re currently doing an Arrested Development rewatch since Netflix is removing it in a few weeks (how dare they), and it’s just as good as I remember. What is happening here?? Are streaming services running out of cloud storage? They literally produced the last two seasons. 🙃
ANYway, I know I’m gonna be pressed for space momentarily, so here’s the goods from this week:
I’m Being Personally Attacked
By a Brand™, no less.
Oh cute! American Girl dolls are fun. I never had them growing up, but I definitely enjoyed the books! Let’s see ‘em!
Adorable! Love those little outfits. So recognizable. Feels fairly innocuous, right? Let’s get some more details on these cuties!
This…this has to be a mistake. Right?
Oh, got it. Several decades ago.
I can only assume someone misunderstood the definition of “several”…?
Let’s take it over to camera 3, where I’d like to address Brands™ directly.
Hey Brands™! Just wanted to check in and ask if y’all realize who might be a big part of your market share for nostalgic toys. If you guessed millennials, you’re right! We have (or had, before we lost our jobs due to ridiculous tech layoffs) disposable income and love collectibles! On a more personal note, please do not remind me how old I am in your marketing! Every day I get up and look in the mirror and remember humanity’s slow inevitable march toward death as I squint to find a new gray hair and try to figure out if my skin is actually beginning to slide off my face while I somehow still have acne! If you use the word “historic” in a context that refers to me ever again I’ll burn your headquarters to the ground! Okay that’s all, good luck with your new products!!
I’m fine! Everything’s fine.
I am having an existential crisis and yet I still want the Pizza Hut BOOK IT! accessories. Help.
Vintage Meme Making The Rounds
This is a re-share from the original author, but it never fails to make me laugh.
I am screaming.
This absolutely sounds like something I would do. Not the head in the oven bit, just the…not actually understanding something but assuming I did and just going about life until someone tells me differently bit.
For example: As a kid I’d heard people talking about WWII, but it sounded like everyone was saying “War War 2”. Which I could understand, since it was the second one. Double wars. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why it was called “War War 1” and not just “War 1,” until years later I finally saw it written down and was like WORLD WAR oh I see because the whole WORLD was involved well that makes a lot more sense.
Aaaaaand realizing now that when I was born in the 80s that WWII was “historical” as it had happened “several” decades ago.
Randomly Selected Animal Cutie
SING IT WALTER!!
That’s it for me this week! I’m off to go buy an app for face yoga and find another moisturizer with retinol. Have a great weekend!
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