I'm Siding With The Whales
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I'm Siding With The Whales
Internet round-up for the week of May 22, 2023
Breaking news: it’s Friday! Again!
How does this keep happening? Seven days in a row and Friday has returned.
Geez I can’t think of the words “seven days” without flashing back to The Ring — I mostly remember it because someone played the DVD in the dressing room during rehearsal for our high school musical (it was “Hello, Dolly” if you’re wondering) and then the guys all got together to call one of the girls’ cell phones to try to scare us.
I’m not really a horror movie person so whenever the horse jumps over the side of the boat I was just done. I planned on never watching the rest until my HS boyfriend suggested we watch it and pause it on the scariest parts so I could look more closely at potential special effects/makeup and “get over it”. Guess what, that does not work and only enhances the nightmares!! No thank you to frightening things!
I’d much rather watch something chill like Survivor. Season 44 ended on Wednesday (sad it’s over, but it was so good!). Having watched approximately 7 seasons in the last couple months I feel comfortable saying this might have been one of the best ones ever. I’m sad it’s over, but there’s still…well, like 30-something more seasons for me to watch, so… 🤷🏼♀️
One fun discovery we had this week is finding a Paris Baguette patisserie just a short walk from our apartment. It was lovely on Sunday to quell a morning craving for pastries, and also a Thursday evening “Wow, they’re open till 10? Let’s go get cake!” craving for pastries. But we’re walking there to get the breads and cakes, so to me, that’s health.
Oh, and I’m pleased to report that my tax predictions were absolutely correct:
(Lookit that little embedded Note! We love to see it!!)
Even though I did go outside for carbs, I spent plenty of time on the web as well — and collected some goodies:
Headline of the Week
WHALES HAVE ATTACKED PLENTY OF BOATS BEFORE. THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT.
THIS TIME, IT’S PERSONAL.
Scientists quoted in the LiveScience coverage hypothesize that a “critical moment of agony” (perhaps a collision or entanglement) traumatized matriarch White Gladis and led her to start attacking similar vessels—and others to follow suit.
As a person who spent an inordinate portion of my childhood watching Free Willy on movie days in class, my ass is siding with the damn whales.
Humans are literally cruising around inside their house. It is well within their rights to destroy all yachts they see. The ocean is not our place!!
I’m Being Personally Attacked
Literally me in my platform crocs and flared jeans. Can Gen Z just let me be cool for once in my life, please?
I’m doing my best!!! I’m wearing my sunscreen and all the clothes I thought were cool in high school. I can’t keep up with what water jug is cool because I have to make my own money and now and buy them myself so I’m still using a BKR. Please! Let me in!
Can White Gladis and her pals please ram anyone who doesn’t think I’m cool? I would really appreciate it.
Wholesome Fun
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I loved this video when Damon sent it to me on TikTok earlier this week, and then I saw it again in a friend’s Instagram stories about 4 days later.
It’s really interesting to me watching changes in the circulation of content online. It used to be more image and text based, and initiate from Reddit or Twitter, then move from Twitter to Instagram and Facebook. Now it feels like it’s all coming from TikTok. Twitter kind of used to be the main source of information because not many folks were on Reddit, so things often went viral there first. Of course there are still Twitter screenshots making their way to Instagram — but memes today are trending more toward TikTok screenshots with text over the top (an example of a common one).
Part of this, I think, is due to the overall popularity of TikTok. But the other half is being sped up by the transition of Twitter away from a social media platform and into some weird convoluted place where you pay for priority access and the algorithm behaves accordingly. Speaking of which:
El*n M*sk
It’s been a banner week for the “genius” ruiner of my favorite website.
Lack of preparation for a big announcement caused a Spaces meltdown. Things are still going great (ha) with advertisers, and the faux blue checks are at it again. Plus, he doesn’t care if people burn up.
But uh, congrats on the Neuralink FDA approval, I guess? I’m sure it will be…very healthy and good. Maybe he’ll be the first in line to get one.
Who Approved This Product?
The new Gollum game from Daedalic Entertainment was released this week to rave reviews such as : The Lord of the Rings: Gollum review - boil it, mash it, stick it in the bin” and “The Lord Of The Rings: Gollum Review - We Don't Wants It, We Don't Needs It”. This screenshot of the game is objectively hilarious.
Do companies not playtest these things before they put them out into the world?? This Gollum looks like something I dissected in my 8th grade science class.
Special Rat-livery!
Y’all better not scrimp on the tip.
Shameless Self-Promotion Corner
I have a new satire piece out this week in Weekly Humorist!
Please enjoy my punny list of song titles rewritten to include AI-related themes. 😊
Randomly Selected Animal Cutie
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TBH I would kill for a morning routine like Minion’s.
Wake up, feed a cat, collect eggs, breakfast that I didn’t even have to think about because someone just put it in a bowl for me? That’s the dream!
That’s all from me this week! Hope you have an excellent weekend. If you’re looking for me, I’m probably at Paris Baguette getting a brioche bun with whipped cream in it.
K
I'm Siding With The Whales
I made an “Al Gore’s Internet” joke today and a GEN X told me I was dating myself. Says more about his insecurity than mine, but it still stung while I sat in my skinny jeans listening to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
A GEN X’er?! How dare!!! And yeah it truly does not matter how hard I try my brain is filled with early 00’s pop culture references 🥲