Heya, happy Friday! I’m coming to you today from Alvin, Texas, where I’ve been dogsitting for my parents for the last week. And while I may not understand income tax at all, I’m very familiar with the the pet tax — so allow me to begin today’s newsletter by offering up a picture of my wards:
Everything has been relatively chill, except the humidity here is around 1000% and I have at least 10 mosquito bites. And also, I went into Houston last night to have dinner with some pals in the middle of this insane storm which was…maybe not a great idea?
At any rate, I am safe and back at my parents’ house, avoiding the mosquito mafia that’s sitting outside in standing water planning the demise of what remains of my left calf (for some reason they’re only biting me there???).
I’ve spent most of this week trying to catch up on writing work I need to do (basically impossible) and watching an entire season of Project Runway (very possible, it turns out). I haven’t spent too much time online this week (I had to avoid Twitter for an entire day because I was late watching Survivor and didn’t want spoilers) so this’ll be a shortie, but I’ve still got a few things for ya:
ANTM (America’s Next Top Mountain Lion)
This week, an old image from wildlife photographer Jeff Wirth (I’ve linked to the tweet here since there’s a dead mountain goat being eaten and it’s head is extremely visible) started making the rounds again this week because the mountain lion feeding her cubs is absolutely SERVING LEWKS.
I mean, come on.
Now THIS is nature photography!!! She is 100% ready for the CATwalk.
Here are a couple of my favorite mountain lion memes:
I’m obsessed with her. She obviously knows her angles. And HOW?? Is she like, standing over the watering hole looking at her reflection and testing poses?? Of course not. She’s a natural. Perfect. A queen.
Public transit
Anyone who rides public transit in the city has a whole host of insane stories of things they’ve seen on the bus or train. But any video starting with a dude saying “I would like to see the sign that says no hammocks” automatically goes straight to the top of the list.
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I mean, to be fair to this man — I do not think there is a specific rule against having hammocks on the bus, and it would be a lot funnier if the bus driver would just let him stay up there. I guess it’s dangerous or whatever?? It looks pretty well secured considering his alligator death rolls don’t seem to be moving the hammock at all.
I really want to know how long it took him to set this up and how he managed to do it without the bus driver seeing. Because the driver says he won’t drive with him up there, but like…was he invisible while he was tying this thing down??
The slow-mo accidental kick of the bus driver’s hat is when I think things truly went south for our intrepid hammocked hero. Real bummer, though. I could’ve watched this video for another hour, at least.
Randomly selected animal cutie
Yes, we did already have an animal in this newsletter, but I’m not sure we can call that goddess “cute” as she has a decidedly uncute vibe. So here’s a second animal for you today:
Look at these gifts!! And a dirty paper plate?? I feel like she went right into the trash to shop for little presents for her owner because that’s where she thinks all the best stuff is. Adorable. 🥺
Okay — that’s it from me today! I’m off to go visit my grandparents for a “Cherry Cobbler Porch Party.” I do not know what that is, but I guess it is a thing they do at assisted living communities. I will report back.
K
That mountain lion understood the "smeyes" far better than I ever will. That goat's not the only thing she slayed.