Spectral Holiday Creature

Internet round-up for the week of November 13, 2023

Hey hey, happy Friday!

Coming to you this morning from foggy Alvin, Texas, where it’s supposed to be 77 and sunny later today…fingers crossed! So far I’ve been enjoying the warmer weather down here, even though it’s like 3000% humidity every day and my hair is at maximum volume.

We started our road trip down from Chicago last Saturday and cruised into Missouri, where we stayed the night in Sikeston before going to tour Graceland in Memphis the next day.

You’ll be totally shocked to see just how understated Elvis’s decor taste was!

Here’s my favorite, the TV Room:

Nothing more relaxing than being able to see the top of your own head

As I was perusing through these pics to find a few to share here I just noticed this terrifying spectral holiday creature:

What IS this?? A Santa Ghost Monkey? Why is this the ONLY holiday decor in this room?? Is this a decoration Elvis bought, or did someone buy this after he died and stick it in the house as part of the normal holiday setup??

I really wish I’d seen this earlier so I could have asked the woman taking headsets who loudly announced “I can answer ANY questions you have about Elvis!” before walking away from her station to talk to some guests and leaving everyone confused about where to wait for the bus. Alas.

And look, I love a jumpsuit, but every outfit this man owned looks like it came straight out of The Hunger Games:

May the odds be ever in your favor, uh huh

Anyway it was a pretty good time and mostly just made me want to watch Priscilla.

Wildly, that day we actually visited 5 different states: we started the day in Missouri, drove through Arkansas to get to Tennessee, then stopped at a Target in Mississippi, went back through Arkansas, and then stopped in Texarkana, Texas for the night.

Since we’ve made it down here, we’ve been to the beach in Galveston, NASA (Johnson Space Center), and the Houston Zoo. Today’s our first day without any sightseeing planned, so it’s nice to chill a bit. We have, of course, already had Tex-Mex 3 times.

Anyway, this’ll be a bit of a shortie today since we’re still on ~*vacation*~, but here’s the goods from this week!

Karma is…

This week, the Swifties went all in on digging up Travis Kelce’s old tweets. Usually, this would be a concerning, Notes app apology-inducing feat, but it actually ended up being really, really funny??

And it turns out, minus the misspelling, that Travis Kelce is…me?

I’ll forgive the errors because Chipotle actually *is* always a great choice

And I get what this gal is saying, but Taylor Swift is an anomaly. Who among us would not be thrilled watching a squirle eat a peice of bread?? #crazy

Is anyone surprised that this man is a himbo?? Like…look at him!!

This quote tweet was my favorite of all, though:

Also, I could not stop giggling over the fact that these tweets look like they came from a fake Twitter account I made years ago to make fun of Facebook posts from dudes I went to high school with.

At least there’s nothing racist in there!! Travis Kelce wins again.

I Still Think About This

This week, I saw a tweet mentioning that Gawker had taken down one of my favorite stories ever, so I had to share the internet archive link here for you to enjoy.

This nine year-old, important investigative journalism piece by Caity Weaver is one of the best things that exists on the internet:

3:20 p.m. Four hours deep, I feel relaxed, sleepy, and confident I could live in this TGI Friday's for the rest of my life, provided I did not have to eat any mozzarella sticks. Maybe I'll come back tomorrow, order the potato skins, and eat for free for $10 using the "unlimited" loophole until I die of an old heart at 31.

(Also, as an aside it’s very worrying that things like this could start to disappear from the internet! I hope it does not continue but I am sure it will!!)

Wholesome Fun

In honor of the holidays coming up, I recommend checking out the “What is my cookie cutter?” subreddit.

It’s exactly what it sounds like — someone has a cookie cutter but they don’t know what the shape is supposed to be, so they post a picture here and ask for help. People come up with all sorts of hilarious potential options, which they draw in. It’s lovely.

Randomly Selected Animal Cutie

Today my animal cutie is a picture I personally took (!) at the zoo yesterday! It was a bit chilly and this Chimpanzee was wrapped up in a lil blanket in a tree.

she’s just like me fr

Look at this toasty queen. Chilling alone in her tree, curled up in her blanket, waiting for someone to bring her food?? I can’t imagine a better afternoon. Just add Netflix.

That’s it from me! I’m off to do some party prep for my Grandpa’s birthday tomorrow! Have a great weekend!!
K