Hello, and happy Friday, babes!
It’s sunny even though the weather app is predicting clouds, which is fantastic. It’s supposed to rain all day tomorrow so I’ll gladly take it. It’s actually been sunny all week, which I think has helped my motivation.
I’ve gotten a ton done this week! Finished up my Deep Dives (the second will be out later this month), another piece for Hard Times, and have gotten a ton of organizing and cleanup done around the apartment. We’re still not all the way settled after moving, but are trying really hard to get there before the end of the year so we can start 2024 off on a good note.
Speaking of the end of the year — I just looked at the calendar and I cannot believe there are only two Fridays left in 2023. How??
I’ll probably try to put together a little recap of the year like I did last year, which means I should probably start working on that now instead of in 2 weeks when I wake up and realize I need to look back through 51 newsletters…🤔
Anyway — after I mentioned CosMc’s last week I saw this article about it in Eater Chicago:
So I guess I’m glad I didn’t go on opening day?? I’m not like, entirely shocked to hear this, because anytime something new opens up like this it gets flooded with influencers trying to be the first to make videos and such. Still — in Bolingbrook?? Wild. Also, the closing paragraph is maybe the best part of the whole thing:
But not everyone approves of CosMc’s landing. Around 1:15 p.m., a woman riding shotgun in a white sedan starts yelling out of her car, chastising customers, “Shame on you for supporting McDonald’s.” Her motivations are unclear as the car sped away in the direction of Ross Dress For Less.
“Her motivations are unclear as the car sped away in the direction of Ross Dress For Less.” Suburbia, baby!! I am deceased.
Also, it wasn’t just local influencers. Local news outlet ABC 7 spoke to a person who had traveled FROM LONDON for the opening of CosMc’s!!
I couldn’t be bothered to get in my car to drive 45 minutes and this person took an EIGHT HOUR FLIGHT for a fucking McPop. Now I feel like I have to go out there.
Oh my god I just went to TikTok to look for a review and I FOUND HER and SHE DID GET THE MCPOPS. I am prophetic!!
Goddammit. I didn’t want this, but I’m gonna have to eat a fucking McPop now.
Not today though because I’m not leaving the house. I do have some errands to run next week, so maybe then…
ANYway, here’s the jazz I’ve picked up for ya this week in my downtime:
Nostalgia Corner
I got hit with two separate millennial beauty trend nostalgia posts this week!
I honestly think I’d completely blocked the glitter from my memory until it was unlocked when I read this tweet. I actually had two glitter gels (I can’t remember where they were from, but odds are it was Bath & Body Works) — one was blue/green and the other was pink/orange, and I switched them around to match my outfit.
WHAT WERE WE THINKING? Because this glitter wasn’t just on our bodies, it was also in our hair. We were walking teenage disco balls.
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I still have a CHI iron I bought in like 2002 or something as a replacement for one of those straighteners with fucking awful velvet plates. They literally generated frizz.
Gen Z doesn’t know how good they’ve got it!! They have tools for hair and makeup!! They can find reviews and tutorials online! What a dream!
Now that I think about it, I actually don’t think I’ve used that straightener since before the 2010s. I wonder if it still works or if I’ve just been hauling around a broken CHI for the last 15 years. I’ll try it again when it’s back in style, I guess.
Writer Drama Update
I mentioned a story last week about some writer drama where a debut author had been accused of making fake Goodreads accounts to poorly rank her fellow authors’ books and prioritize her own. This week she posted an apology note on Twitter admitting that she had done it (not someone else, as she initially said). She’s now lost her agent and book deal, and I just…really don’t have a lot of sympathy for that kind of thing! I’m glad everyone figured out what was going on so it can get straightened out on Goodreads and hope the other authors can actually enjoy their book releases now!
Who Approved This Product?
This week, Doritos announced that they’re releasing a nacho-cheese flavored alcoholic beverage.
I’ve read three articles and I can’t figure out what this is. Every single one describes it as a “spirit,” but I’m not clear on exactly what that means??
USA Today has this quote:
"Empirical is an 'uncategorized’ spirits company, so it allows us the freedom to experiment with really interesting flavors and not have to be stuck in a gin box or tequila box or whiskey box."
Sure, but…what is it, though?
The Doritos and Empirical alcoholic beverage combines the flavors of nacho cheese, corn tostada and umami with a hint of acidity, according to the news release.
Cool. I’m still not entirely sure I understand what’s going on here, though. Admittedly, I’m not a big drinker, and probably couldn’t make a cocktail if I tried (unless it’s literally vodka with a single mixer), but I’m not really sure what this goes with.
Their OWN WEBSITE1 says:
ENJOY In a Margarita, Bloody Mary, Old Fashioned, neat or over ice, or any way Doritos fans like!
So that’s tequila, vodka, and whiskey. Nacho Cheese “spirit” goes in everything, I guess?
Can I like, go to a bar and order a Cheese Julep? A Cheeseopolitan? A Cheesey Sour?
What’s the consensus here: do we think this is going to be horrible, or actually good?
Randomly Selected Animal Cutie
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LOOK AT THE BABY PIGGIE!! Pigs are so adorable and smart. This video has it all: little piggie trotting, doing a trick, and then munching on a strawberry. What more could you ask for???
That’s it from me this week! I’m off to dig back in to the massive pile of clothes I’m organizing (at least I got the rest of them out of their moving packaging (read: trash bags) yesterday 😬). Have a great weekend!!
K
Why do I need to work so hard to tell every goddamn website I don’t want their cookies? No to all your cookies, now and forevermore. I literally clicked the box to say no on Frito-Lay’s site and ended up sitting at a BOX with a LOADING WHEEL for literally a minute.
I swear this is the same shit companies are doing with those unsubscribe mazes. “If we make this take long enough, they’ll get tired and allow our cookies.” 😈 KEEP YOUR COOKIES TO YOURSELF, FRITO-LAY! Christ.
Thank you very much for the nostalgia corner. I had a blue giraffe(?) print CHI that I THINK might still work, but my poor hair is probably still traumatized from the flat-iron era of my life lol. Half-hoping for some roll-on glitter in my stocking this year tbh...
Omg, I never managed to get a CHI, but the first time a hair dresser used a straightener to CURL my hair my jaw fell off.
Also, I love cheese, and Doritos, and I’m a pretty big cocktail fan, but all of that sounds like SUCH a bad idea.