Discover more from TMI - Too Much Internet

This newsletter is part personal essay, part humorous take on the news of the week, and all "wow, this person spends wayyy too much time on the internet".

Chevron Tourist

Internet round-up for the week of July 31, 2023

Kelley Greene

Aug 4, 2023

Hey friends! Happy Friday!

I’m coming to you today from Eugene, Oregon, our pit stop for the night on an impromptu road trip to Portland! As you’re reading this, we’re likely already back on the road and on our way.

We’re trying to take some fun road trips on the West Coast before leaving, and neither of us have ever been to Portland. So far on Thursday we stopped by Mount Shasta (gorgeous) for lunch, took some pics at some Vista Points™, and used the restroom in at least two Chevrons! Follow along on my Instagram stories for travel pics (not of the restrooms).

Anyway, we made it to Eugene for the night, and I had the best shower I’ve had in a year in this Hilton Garden Inn. The water pressure was like Son of Firehose™, and IT’S NOT SLIMY SOFT WATER!! My hair has never been shinier. We love to see it!!

Anyway — will be a bit of a shortie this week

since we’re on the road, but I’ve still got some goods for ya:

RIP PW

I am so sad that Paul Reubens passed away this week! I grew up on Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, and had a Big Top Pee-Wee poster hanging in my childhood bedroom. I had the entire Playhouse with all the little toys inside, and in fact have collected even more Pee-Wee memorabilia throughout the years.

Cabazon Dinosaurs

Cabazon Dinosaurs on Instagram: ”❤️ Pee-wee #peeweesbigadventure #peeweeherman #cabazondinosaurs”

August 2, 2023

I’d always hoped I might get a chance to meet him. In 2020, he had a tour planned to perform at the Chicago Theater. We’d already bought tickets and started planning our outfits when everything shut down due to Covid. I thought perhaps he’d reschedule, but he never did — I’m guessing now he was likely too ill. I wish we’d gotten to see him.

Paul Reubens and I also share(d) a birthday, August 27th, and I always felt like we were kindred spirits. He leaves behind an incredible legacy. RIP, PW! ❤️

TwiXter Tales

It will come as no surprise that the social media site formerly known as Twitter is having a normal one this week.

On Friday, a giant “X” appeared on top of Twitter’s SF HQ.

Tweet from @goldengateblond that says "this is part of a supervillain origin story and you will not convince me otherwise" and features a PopBase tweet with a photo of the shoddy X on the building — The end of a treasure map to hell

It looked like it was pretty hastily erected (heh). Then, what appeared to be simply an eyesore turned out to also be…a seizure-inducing light show that shined directly into peoples’ apartment windows. After numerous complaints, Twitter refused access to city inspectors…but then they went ahead and took it down anyway.

On top of that, a feature was added so that Twitter blue users can hide their blue checks. The checks that they demanded to show that they were verified. Checks that hat they asked for. Paid for.

Edited Kuzco's poison meme: "Oh right, the blue check. The blue check for signifying verification. The blue check chosen specially to signify verification. Verification's blue check. That blue check? Yes! That blue check. Gotcha covered." — Make it make sense

I guess…enjoy paying to have your tweets boosted, invisibly? 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m Being Personally Attacked

Image of Ryan Gosling on a bunch of designer bags. On top, it says "This month I'm doing a challenge called 'August'. It's where I try to make it through every day of August."

Okay, who wants to be my accountability buddy for making it through every day of August??

Wild Slide

This week, a video of a police officer flying out of a slide in Boston went viral (RIP

TikTok screenshot of the officer flying out of the slide with text over it that says "my soda coming out of an old ass vending machine at the laundromat"

It spawned a whole host of hilarious memes, and also convinced a few residents to go take live action videos of them going down the slide themselves. I have no idea what the physics of this slide are, because some people seem to be sliding down without any issue, and then others are, well, not.

Can someone who understands momentum and gravity explain this situation to me? I did pass AP Physics

, but only because my Physics teacher was also the tennis coach and all the tennis kids were in his class and he let us retake our exams in the Field House and would walk by and look over our answers and ask “you sure about that one?” so we could adjust before turning them in. Also can someone please take me to the slide?? I need to try it.

Wholesome Fun

This week I found a new TikTok Livestream obsession: Saxquatch.

It is exactly what it sounds like: A dude dressed up like Sasquatch playing the saxophone. And he’s good, too!

TikTok screenshot of a guy in a sasquatch costume in the forest standing next to a table with some DJ equipment and playing the sax. — He did, indeed, like it when we called him “Big Saxquatch”

I don’t know how the algorithm has managed to figure me out, and I don’t need to know. But for every NPC Livestream I scroll past, I receive one amazing stream in return, and I accept these gifts without question.

Tweet from @insidefriends that says "Mojo Dojo Casa House" and is an image of Chandler and Joey riding their giant white dog into Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is packing a box on top of their foosball table. — Truly the original MDCH

Randomly Selected Animal Cutie

@dogmomandkids Time of day means nothing to her. Plus she got the extra water out of the pool. #nightswim #doeswhatshewants #onetrackmind #savetheball #divingdog #golden

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Look. This is a RETRIEVER. There is a ball in the pool, and it must be RETRIEVED. She is simply doing her job!! And honestly give her a raise because these are nights & weekend hours! That’s OT at least!

Bonus Cuties for my fellow Rat Finks: Rats on a trash bag in NYC 😍

That’s it for me this week! I’m probably looking for a gas station to use the restroom in as we speak. Also, send good vibes to the WGA today for a deal — the AMPTP has asked them back to the table! 🤞🏻
K

Any time Substack is not bombarding me with “Post too long for email” notifications is a shortie at this point.

He’s fine.

I did not take the AP Physics exam, because it was not in the Field House and my teacher could not check my answers.