Happy Friday!
I very nearly typed “2023” into the subheading of this newsletter, which is weird, because how am making that mistake a month in to the new year for the first time?? Wild.
Probably because it’s been another incredibly busy week (good thing!), and I’m still catching up on all the drafts I have due (plus the deep dives).
In fact, I’m currently typing this newsletter while my brain is working on around 15 other things. It’s called multitasking!! (Read: Undiagnosed ADHD!)
I’ve mostly been at the computer this week, researching a gigantic list piece I’m working on, writing incessantly, and applying for jobs. I maybe applied for like, 10 billion jobs this week, I think? And I haven’t heard back from any of them, of course.
What’s going on in recruiting inboxes these days? It appears to me that they put up a job listing, 6000 people apply, and they look over it and think “we’ll never get through all this — fuck it, let’s just clear this out and start over” and then they repost the job, and then 7000 people apply, and the inbox is too full, and they think “fuck it, let’s just clear this out and start over,” ad nauseam. 🤷🏼♀️
I should probably rewrite my resume or something, I guess, but like damn. It worked less than two years ago to get me a new job and I’ve updated it since. Maybe it’s not keyword-y enough for the AI robots they’re starting to use to go through their thousands of resumes?? But like, add it to the pile of things I have to write, okay?!
As always, you know if I’m at the computer, I’m on the world wide web. Here’s the goods I’ve got for you this week:
Who Approved This Product?
An image of the Dune 2 collectible popcorn bucket was released this week and Twitter went wild because it’s…well, see for yourself:
I mean — look. You, as a Brand™, should have at least one painfully online person as a member of your promotions team. Because they’ll take one look at this…erm…popcorn bucket, and know exactly where everyone’s minds are headed. Seriously, just look at the replies to that tweet.
WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO LEARN?!
Unless…they did it intentionally? Have they somehow outsmarted us all by releasing something completely vaginistical1, knowing their fan base will go wild to buy them, just for the spectacle of it all (I refuse to believe anyone will buy this for its unintended purpose)?
No.
Even if CeraVe seems to be two steps ahead, I do not believe that a regular old brand could be that forward looking. And neither does Alamo Drafthouse, apparently.
Brands should know by now — the internet is not okay.
Also, please enjoy this post about the newly released promotional image/dog.
Rat City, Bitch
BABES. The Rat Hole is saved!! Good Chicago samaritans spent their afternoons digging out all the concrete/plaster/whatever last Friday and restored the hole.
And the Rat Hole has remained busy since! It hosted a proposal and a wedding, plus now has landmark status on Apple Maps.
Also, a Chicagoan commissioned a Rat Hole cookie cutter, and somebody made a concrete stamp so you can have your own rat hole at home. (Of course I downloaded the file off the threaded link, though I do not currently have a 3D printer or a tiny slice of concrete to call my own. One can dream. 🙏🏻)
And in other Rat News™, rats enjoy taking selfies (to be fair, there were treats, but they still kept taking them even when the treats were intermittent!).
I don’t really appreciate the commentary on how we, as humans, are like rats trying to get treats by spending too much time on social media. For me, the correct takeaway here is that rats deserve their own social media platforms, such as: Ratbook, Blue Cheese, and Ratstagram.
Oh, and they also should get tiny cars, I guess?? Somehow we need to organize a small rat society that can thrive within our own, so we can watch them do their little rat things and enjoy their lives. Bring rats out of the subways and alleys and into the light!
Back to The Rat Hole: I heard a rumor that the city is considering popping up the piece of concrete and auctioning it off for charity, meaning I really do have to get over there ASAP.
BUT I REALLY HAVE BEEN VERY BUSY! Proof:
Shameless Self-Promotion Corner
For the first time ever, I had THREE (3) pieces published in one week! Of course, these have been in the works for a bit, but it seems like everything came out all at once.
First up, this piece for The Hard Times came out on Saturday:
And then this other workout-themed piece for
was published on Monday:And then on Thursday I had another piece run in Hard Times:
Wild that they all came out one after another, but it’s been great! Plus, I take immense pride in the fact that every single one of these pieces is making fun of me, specifically.
Randomly Selected Animal Cutie
First I just have to note that it was Fiona the hippo’s SEVENTH BIRTHDAY this week!! The Cincinnati Zoo put up a very sweet montage.
Now, watch this sweet boy get his pretzel:
THE SKILL!! He is concentrating SO HARD. Plus, the instant the pretzel is in his mouth he goes full dog crunch. I love.
That’s it from me this week! I’ll be spending my weekend trying desperately to get through the projects I’ve (over)committed to like a lunatic and watching the last round of NFL playoffs (rooting for the Lions and I guess the Chiefs). Have a good one!
K
She’s so fine, there’s no telling where the money went.
Subject line this week made me cackle 😂 Rat Hole forever!! And congrats on your 3(!!) pieces -- perfect timing, I was in need of an existential workout routine