Forever Fourthmeal
Internet round-up for the week of July 10, 2023
Hello and happy Friday!
It’s been a solid week over here — sunny days, lots of writing getting done, blasting through the entirety of Is It Cake, Too. I can’t get enough of Mikey Day acting completely insane while he waves knives and other dangerous tools around in a way that constantly makes me wince.
Is it just me, or does every week seem like a slow news week ever since the Sub? Like, I guess there’s stuff happening, but it doesn’t feel like that intense Sonic the Hedgehog is about to drown music going on in the background of my normal activities, so it’s way more mellow.
(Speaking of which: have you guys read this article from the New Yorker about OceanGate yet? It’s such a good overview of the entire build up to the disaster, one piece at a time. Plus, it gives some insight into the thought processes of the CEO, Stockton Rush, as well as PH Nargolet, one of the victims. It’s very well done, and also very sad. Get yourself in a good headspace and then read it.)
The Sub turned out to have imploded, Threads is already much quieter…what’s a girl to freak out about these days?? (Don’t worry, I’ll find something.)
There’s still some jazz to discuss though, as always, so: let’s get to it.
Headline of the Week
The father of Blood Boy™ is back in the news!
WELL, WELL, WELL.
Charles Brenner, a biochemist at City of Hope National Medical Center in Los Angeles, said: "We have not learned enough to suggest this is a viable human treatment for anything.
"To me, it’s gross, evidence-free and relatively dangerous."
Thank you, Charles. It is gross!! Although, concerningly, he doesn’t expand AT ALL on what the dangerous part is…
Maybe it’s just the danger of being embarrassed in front of the entire world when everyone finds out you’re giving your dad your blood so he can live forever, but you don’t know if it actually works? Or that he calls you his “Blood Boy?” Or that you did a photoshoot with your dad and grandpa, all holding on to each other awkwardly, while someone poured water over the three of you? 🤷🏼♀️ Who’s to say?
And guess what, that’s not the only story I saw about him this week.
Turns out he also only eats food from 6am - 11am. They mention some specifics:
In the five-hour time frame, he eats three meals: a super veggie salad followed by a nutty pudding, and a third meal which can be anything from a stuffed sweet potato to an orange and fennel salad.
First off: please go click on that link and watch the associated video of his morning routine. Turns out, I am as uncomfortable looking at a photo of this man as I am watching him on video. I can tell immediately that he’s one of those guys that makes extremely intense eye contact with you and corners you at a party to tell you he’s taking 150 pills a day.
“I don’t eat after 11am. I’m fasting, other than my 150 pills. So, tell me about yourself. 👀 What are you doing to change the world?” *Listens intently, nodding, while you try to come up with an excuse to escape*
He says he doesn’t go outside if the air quality is bad, plus he gets his abs zapped with some insane tool every single day for half an hour. Also, he says the sentence “Santa’s got high BMI,” out loud, on purpose.
But here’s my main takeaway from the article: for the rest of his life, this man will never have Fourthmeal.
Your loss, my dude. Enjoy your “nutty pudding” and being able to leg press 800 pounds. I will have a Crunchwrap, and I will get old.
Only one other thing of note in this article, which is this line:
“One of the best parts of Blueprint: no aches and pains anywhere in my body, allowing me to do just about anything,” he wrote.
NO PAIN AT ALL?? Okay. What…what if I just drank the weird green chocolate drink every day? 🤔 And took like 10 pills? But also still ate cookies? Is that enough??
Strike Two: SAG-AFTRA
SAG-AFTRA announced that they are going on strike alongside the WGA — marking the first time in over 60 years both unions have been on strike at the same time. SAG President Fran Drescher gave a particularly rousing speech during their press conference yesterday.
These two unions seem most at-risk of being harmed by AI, so I don’t think it’s possible for the studios to make a deal with one without showing their cards to the other. Which is — great, actually. It bodes well for the writers, who got to see this encouraging (🙄) chatter in Deadline this week:
“The endgame is to allow things to drag on until union members start losing their apartments and losing their houses,” a studio executive told Deadline. Acknowledging the cold-as-ice approach, several other sources reiterated the statement. One insider called it “a cruel but necessary evil.”
Nice guys. Anyway, fingers crossed for a speedy, reasonable resolution from the studios, and some solidified protections for the industry as a whole from AI.
Wholesome Fun
Talk Therapy
We love a leaked text conversation!! I don’t think we’ve seen any text screenshots this dramatic since Adam Levine’s sexts got leaked earlier this year. At any rate — Jonah Hill’s “boundaries” (read: rules) for his girlfriend read more like the type of Hot Girl Summer every young woman dreams of:
It’s another interesting facet of the “Therapy Speak” conversation — people using specific terminology in a weirdly manipulative way. This Refinery 29 article discusses friend breakups using the same jargon.
The main takeaway here? Boundaries are for YOU, not for your partner! Let women have fun!!
Good Read(s)
Adam Dietz has perfectly summed up the job search in McSweeney’s this week:
Randomly Selected Animal Cutie
It will come as no surprise that I’m featuring my boy Fritz again.
He’s just. So. CUTE. HIS LITTLE FACE GETTING HIS LETTUCE!! HIS EAR HAIRS!! I love him.
That’s it from me this week! Stay cool out there this weekend. 😎
K