No Loose Ends
Internet round-up for the week of December 8, 2025
Greetings, my friends!! Happy Friday!
It’s been a lovely sunny day here in Chicago, but it’s already mid-afternoon and the sun is on its way down, a harbinger of the incredibly cold weekend we’ve got ahead. I’ve got one short errand to run before I hunker down for the next 48 hours next to my radiator, bundled up inside my Comfy.
As you can tell, I’m a bit later getting to things today because I’ve been super busy this week!
I’ve gotten a lot of work stuff done, but I also did some non-work fun things — including getting on one of the patented Chicago hot tub river boats last night with some satire writing pals!
I kept seeing this thing on Instagram and really wanted to try it, and luckily these cool gals were willing to meet up and do something very ridiculous with me on a Thursday night!!
We were nervous about being cold since it was like 28° or something, but it turned out to be plenty warm down in the tub itself! We floated back and forth between State Street and LaSalle and waved at everyone and it was honestly a blast. If you’re ever hanging out in Chicago in the winter, highly recommend this experience!! (Also call me, because I want to do this again!)
The worst part is when you get out of the tub and have to walk all the way back to the changing room. But once you’re back inside the little shoebox room changing clothes between a set of curtains that don’t quite close all the way, everything is warm and right again with the world!
As always, I’ve been on the World Wide Web™ this week, but things have been a little quiet (read: I’ve only seen one tweet from Bryan Johnson)! So, this one’ll be a shortie as we roll on towards the end of the year:
Headline of the week
Boy, oh boy, I’ve never been happier to not be a famous person than when this TikTok of Joe Jonas trying to parallel park went viral this week:
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If this ever happened to me I would literally get back into my car and drive it straight into the ocean. There’s maybe nothing more embarrassing in the ENTIRE WORLD than having someone watch you parallel park. I mean it.
Just look at the stress on this man’s face!! JUST GO HOME, JOE! IT’S OKAY!
Sometimes I find a spot I think my car can fit in, I line everything up, start parking, and someone drives up behind me and I just throw it in Drive and leave. There’s NO WAY I’m going to try to PARK while someone’s gaze is upon me. If I have to take more than one whack at it while someone watches I’ll spontaneously combust in an explosion that’ll turn us both to dust. No loose ends, you know?
Unfortunately my current living situation does not have a parking space available and we have to park on the street, which means two things: a) I only use the car in case of emergency because I don’t want to have to move it, and b) if I do use it and there’s not a two-car space available that I can pull directly into, my husband (ANNOYINGLY good at parallel parking) will have to come downstairs and park the car for me or I might cry.
When we were moving back to Chicago from California we had a choice of two apartments: one that had a parking space, but no in-unit laundry, and one without a parking space, but with a washer/dryer in the kitchen.
I assume you can tell which one we chose. The only thing worse than my ability to parallel park is my ability to get the clothes out of the dryer the same day they go in.
ANYWAY.
At least Joe seemed to have a sense of humor about it. And good for him, because if this ever happens to me you’ll never see me again.
Vindication
Figured I might as well just make this a regular section at this point, since I continue to be proven correct. Teehee. 💅🏻
You may recall my feelings about leaving the window shades down on airplanes (bad, wrong, no). Well, this week, I saw two absolutely gorgeous plane pictures that prove just how perfect it is to have lighting from the plane window.
JUST LOOK AT THIS PURE ART:
(That second tweet was a response to the first, but I liked seeing them side-by-side here so it’s a little tougher to tell.) THERE ARE CATHEDRALS EVERYWHERE, etc. etc.
THIS is what you’re missing out on when you leave the damn window shade down.
Wholesome fun
The week of the Titan submersible drama, I shared this really cool website by Neal Agarwal that let you scroll through the ocean depths and the sea life within (ew). This week, he released a new one called Size of Life, that lets you scroll through creatures, from the tiniest you can imagine to the largest. All of the artwork was painted by a REAL ARTIST, by the way, so you can enjoy scrolling guilt-free!
Randomly selected animal cutie
Check out this ABSOLUTE UNIT of a polar bear captured by photographer Piet van den Bemd:
That raggedy looking thing to his left is apparently a whale carcass, which he’s been feasting on of late. Sorry to every bear in the Fat Bear Week competition, but Fat Bear YEAR is here, and we have found our victor.
And he’s photogenic, too:
Wow. Almost as gorgeous as the light hitting a cup through an airplane window juuuust right.
That’s it from me this week! I’m off to run my final errand of the day and then will be gluing myself to the radiator for the rest of the weekend. Have a good one!
K
Do we know Bryan's thoughts on window shades? Does he think the sun will steal years of his life at the closer proximity?
That size of life page is a DELIGHT!