Rancid Aura

Internet round-up for the week of February 10, 2025

Hello and happy Valentine’s Day Friday to my TMI Valentines!! 💘

I’m having a wonderfully slow day over here — I took today (and yesterday) off of work for an extended weekend (I’m also off Monday), and it’s been fabulous so far.

My brain has been absolutely fried lately, so I’m happy I decided to take some time away from doing research and sorting through content. Obviously, it’s one of my favorite things to do — I do it even in my free time — but it’s good to force myself to take a break once in a while and do something else.

I’m also catching up on TV. I’m still heavily invested in The Traitors (Carolyn forever) and Severance. But on top of that, there’s a new season of Yellowjackets starting, plus The White Lotus, and Love is Blind drops today too! Is everyone as excited about this as I am?? It’s such a good time for TV!! (And an even better time of year for it because it’s cold outside and I don’t want to leave the house!)

Speaking of leaving the house — last weekend Damon and I went over to a Lunar New Year festival in our neighborhood and it was super fun (and cold). We got incredible boba tea and pastries and watched a parade until we got too cold and decided to walk home. I’m really looking forward to getting out more this year and enjoying our neighborhood (not today, it’s seriously too cold).

Admittedly, my favorite thing from the event was this dog dressed up in a lion costume carrying his bowl around:

I mean. Honestly.

Anyway — I’d love to get back into today’s Day Off Activity™, playing Civ VII — so let’s get on in to the goods from this week:

Correction(s)

Thanks to the astute readers of TMI, it has been brought to my attention that last week I misgendered a hideous anglerfish in the newsletter.

I mistakenly referred to the anglerfish as “he,” when any freaky fish scientist worth their salt should know that male anglerfish are tiny little weirdos and female anglerfish are giant mysteriously lit mouth-trap monsters.

Via National Geographic.

According to National Geographic (paywalled, you know what to do):

The male clamps his teeth onto some part of her and stays put. “Eventually the skin of male and female grows together,” Pietsch says; vessels join “so her blood flows through his body.” Fins and other disused body parts wither away until the male is only what the female needs him to be: a sperm factory.

Great. So he basically just transforms into a pair of testicles. You know, just doing Deep Sea Things™.

Ahem. So she made her way to the surface, probably because her insane ex-boyfriend leeched off her for ages and then left his nutsack on her hip. My apologies to her and hers. (Also, the record for sets of fish balls left behind on a female anglerfish is EIGHT (8). EIGHT!! Absolutely not.)

Maybe we have more in common with these sea horrors than I initially thought, because there’s a good chance I’d be trying to climb to the surface to rid myself of his rancid aura as well.

I’ll reiterate now, correctly: dump her back into the ocean tied to a brick with a warning, specifically that there are tons of blood-sucking male anglerfish up here just waiting to latch on to powerful anglerfish women and steal their nutrients.

Headline of the week

via Daily Mail.

SCIENTISTS. Please.

Have y’all just like, not seen The Fly or what?

Scientists seem to have way too much time on their hands these days. They could be busy trying to create a red wine that doesn’t taste like Robitussin but instead they’re going to turn us all into half-man, half insects, or let fungi run amok.

His hand is up to say, “Stop, don’t do it!”

Honestly, the one saving grace here is that I tried to read exactly what these guys had successfully done here, and I might as well be reading another language entirely.

Researchers at the University of Oxford successfully teleported logical gates - the basic components of a computer algorithm - between two quantum processors separated by more than six feet.

Using particles of light (or photons), the scientists were able to form a shared quantum link between the two separate devices.

Oh, did you form a shared quantum link? Should we tell everyone? Should we throw a party? Should we invite Bella Hadid?

The breakthrough may solve the 'scalability problem' that has plagued the construction of usable quantum computers.

Currently, however, a single computer capable of processing millions of qubits would need to be gigantic in size - making them impossible for most people to have.

Oh right. Qubits. That’s definitely a word and not something these two guys just made up on the spot.

Please, scientists, I’m begging you. Drop this madness and do something helpful, instead. Engineer some feet that never get cold or a set of bowels that can eat unlimited cheese without repercussion. That has to be easier. And safer.

Shameless self-promotion corner

I’ve got a couple for you this week! Last week I mentioned I’d spent some time outlining Ancient Roman graffiti for a piece, so if you’re interested in taking a gander at some very old doodles (and reading a couple dick jokes, which are, I guess, a big part of my brand at this point), check this one out:

And then separately — I wrapped up an interview this week that I’ve been working on for the better part of a month and I’m really happy with how it turned out. Jake has an incredible story, so give it a read if you have time!

Randomly selected animal cutie

A delicious snack, a birthday hat, and a song in his own language??

This is what it truly means to be a good pet parent. I wish these folks would plan my birthday party.

That’s all from me this week! I’m off to laze around and play games and let my brain do literally anything other than work. Hope y’all have a great weekend!
K