Hi hello and greetings, my friends! It is, once again, Friday.
These Fridays. They just keep coming, don’t they?
It’s been an incredibly busy week for me writing-wise (you’ll see why just a bit further in the newsletter), plus I applied for a zillion more jobs from companies with names that sound like they financed lightsaber construction for the rebellion.
We also started binging Love is Blind last night, and hoooo boy! What a season! I have some *thoughts* but I’m going to withhold judgment until I finish everything that’s been released. But WOW I am loving this drama. It’s great so far!
Even though I’ve been busy, I’ve had some time on the world wide web. Here’s what I’ve got for ya this week:
Rat City, Bitch
I’ve got two good rat-related items from Thrillist for you today.
First up, “'Only in Chicago': An Oral History of the Legendary Chicago Rat Hole.” This is a detailed story about the Rat Hole starting from Winslow Dumaine’s viral tweet up until today. I imagine the number of people visiting the Rat Hole will eventually die off, though I expect them to never be gone completely.
I also wonder, like, in the future, if a house is listed for sale on that street, will they have to disclose that they’re near the Rat Hole? For me, that’s a massive plus (though I imagine some folks would be less than thrilled about the neverending stream of tourists).
And speaking of tourists, the second piece is “Rat Tourism Is the Next Squeaky Little Trend in Travel.” I wonder if I can get a job as a Rat Hole tour guide?
Also I kind of feel like I’m on the cutting edge of Rat Content™ because I discovered RatTok (mentioned in the second piece) in March of last year!! TMI is the place to be for all your rat needs! 🫡 🐀
Four Balls (Walk)
A couple weeks ago, the new Nike-branded, Fanatics-made MLB uniforms were revealed. I saw a bit of chatter online about the players complaining that they felt cheap and didn’t fit well. Then there were some additional complaints that the pants are see-through. Bummer, I thought, sucks that they didn’t make good uniforms for the baseball boys.
And then I saw the images on this tweet, and oh. my. god.:
GENTLEMEN.
I…I do not know what it will take to get this issue resolved but holy shit. I’ve made plenty a joke in my day about baseball players in tight pants — but I do not need the exact details of what’s going on in those tight pants. We love to ogle an athlete, but this just feels bad.
If I had to wear a uniform to work that gave me horrific cameltoe I’d fucking quit. The MLB Players Association should burn down the damn Fanatics warehouse.
Get these men the thick pants they need. IMMEDIATELY.
Who approved this product?
Pinterest has been having a normal one this week — I have a pin on my “My Style” board that’s a women’s swimsuit, but it’s made to look like a man’s hairy torso. It is objectively hilarious.
But I guess the nipples are like, getting caught in their nudity filter or something? They emailed, notifying me that they’d removed one of my pins for violating their “community guidelines on adult content.”
I’d like to quickly address their concerns:
Nudity: I mean, maybe? But like, shirtless dudes are okay to post, right?
My quick Pinterest search of “dude at beach” says yes:
Sexualized content: There’s absolutely nothing sexy about this swimsuit. That’s why it’s great.
Graphic depictions of sexual imagery: Nope.
Fetish imagery: Maybe for someone? We’ll say half-true.
Anyway, I’m obviously right, because the next day I got this:
And then it happened again, and again, and again.
I’m not taking the pin down. They can keep removing it and reinstating it for 100 years. Get your shit together, tech companies!1
Good Read(s)
With the announcement of Vice being shut down (awful) and all of their content removed from the web, I saw some tweets about an excellent piece that would be lost to the sands of time and wanted to share it here with an Archive link so it’ll last forever:
I Played 'The Boys Are Back in Town' on a Bar Jukebox Until I Got Kicked Out
I hate that the internet is losing this kind of hard-hitting journalism. (I am being facetious, but I really am sad things like this are going away.) Good reminder to save everything I’ve ever had published online.
Speaking of “everything I’ve ever had published online”…
Shameless Self-Promotion Corner
I’m delighted (and a little surprised, to be honest) to share three pieces I had published this week. The first two were topical, meaning I pitched them, had them accepted, and wrote them all in the same day (hence the pleasant surprise).
This first one in Hard Drive is in reference to a viral article from The Cut along with a newly released video game that is struggling to accommodate all the people who want to play:
The second piece, in The Hard Times, is referencing my personal unending disappointment that The Winds of Winter still isn’t out plus a story that came out this week about Harry Styles’ stalker that wrote him 8,000 letters in one month:
And this last one is a satire piece I actually started in 2020 but never finished (or submitted), which I finally pulled out of the ol’ pile and rewrote recently for The Belladonna.
Happy reading! 😎
Randomly Selected Animal Cutie
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A little puppies-drinking-water ASMR for you on this fair day. I love these little guys and I want to hug each and every one of them!!
And that’s all I’ve got this week! I’m about to dive back in to Love is Blind because it’s literally all I can think about. Have a great weekend!!
K
As an aside, I initially had trouble locating the pin on the board and searched for a quick substitute to give you the gist, and found this on Amazon:
The nipples AND the fucking bellybutton are blurred out!! IT’S NOT EVEN A WOMAN’S NIPPLES (do NOT get me fucking started on women’s breasts being sexualized while men flaunt their nips online), but what is wrong with a bellybutton?!
The internet is a wild and weird place. So thankful we have tech companies’ very sophisticated filters to protect us from these offensive swimsuits.
Pure gold! I have been laughing all day about this, Kelley. Especially the baseball uniforms. 😂
OMG the George RR Martin piece!! Side note, I hadn't heard about Vice until just now -- that's crazy that all the pieces are getting pulled?! Remember when adults told us to be careful about what we posted online, because the internet was *forever*?!