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I was really crossing my fingers that my last job would just let me keep my laptop, but alas— higher education and tech are not the same.

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True. Higher Ed will hang on to their computers until the end of time.

When I used to do phone support at Apple back in the day I spent some time in the EDU department doing support for schools. They were allowed to call in for support for the life of the products, no questions asked. I took a call once about Newton eMate they couldn't print from. IT CAME OUT IN 1997. I was just like guys...can we not??

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I don't even know what that is!

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No one should have to!! But also look at this thing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EMate_300

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Oh no I wish I could un-know the bit about his erection tracking!!! AhhhHHHH

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WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO US???

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