Call Sean Evans

Internet round-up for the week of August 3, 2026

Hello hello, and happy Friday, my friends!

I cannot believe it’s already AUGUST. Is it just me, or does this year feel like it’s going by way, way too fast? It seems like only yesterday I was complaining that I still had to wear a jacket outside, and now it won’t be much longer and I’ll…have to wear a jacket outside again. Ugh.

This week has been pretty solid. I got some work put out that I’m excited about (more on that later), caught up on some housework, and even had time to watch Big Brother (Which actually just got REALLY good… last night. Only took a month!).

This is the first summer since I’ve lived in Chicago that I’ve had some plants in my (shared) outdoor space, and I’m pleased to report that my cherry tomato and jalapeño plants are finally starting to bear some fruit! I’ve only had about 5 total cherry tomatoes (from what I’ve read, it’s been a tough year up here for tomato plants), but my little black magic jalapeño is out of control.

SO MANY

I don’t know what I’m going to do with all these things once they’re ripe. What the heck do you do with an overabundance of jalapeños? Put them in the freezer? Dry them? Call Sean Evans? (I will gladly take any and all tips before my kitchen becomes overrun.)

Otherwise, there’s not a ton to report from the internet from the last seven days! But let’s dive on in to what I’ve procured for ya:

Brands a-branding

Though the flavor appears to be available only in China, I still think it’s worth addressing this new OREO X KFC mashup, featuring fried chicken-flavored OREOs:

The creme’s speckles are rather unnerving

What fresh hell hath The Colonel™ unleashed upon humanity?

The KFC x Kraft Dinner collab from a few years back at least kind of makes mental sense. It’s like taking a side that you’d normally have with a protein and kind of mashing those two things together. Just like, you know, a chip bun.

Anyway. Let’s hear about it:

It looks like a normal Oreo from the outside, because the wafers are the same chocolate ones. The difference sits in the middle, where the sweet creme has been replaced with a filling meant to taste like KFC’s Original Recipe, an 11-herb-and-spice blend, seasoning, and salt and all (minus the meat, of course!).

The cookie went on sale in China on July 31 as part of Oreo’s limited-edition “Playful Time Travel” collection.

“Playful Time Travel,” huh? Where the hell are y’all headed? To the year 4489, when people no longer know what chickens even are? When food no longer exists and the small number of remaining humans are desperate for ANY form of sustenance? When some alien race pulls this thing out of a time capsule and tries to go all “let’s make sourdough with its bacteria” on these things?

Look, I’m really trying to concede that there is a subsection of the population that enjoys a salty/sweet flavor combo. I can make logical sense of fried chicken alongside a waffle with maple syrup. But a chocolate cookie???

Actual footage of Colonel Sanders in his grave

And again, I have questions about how the super secret 11 herbs and spices recipe is being shared here. Is this just a replica? Is KFC manufacturing the cookie insides?Does someone who works for OREO sign an NDA they must adhere to until they die?

All I can say about this is that I’d like to do some playful time travel back to a time before I knew this horrible idea existed. Yuck.

Billionaire boys

via Twitter

Well.

It’s good to do a little self-reflection now and again, is it not?

But I think it’s important to be honest with ourselves here — we know what this means. There’s something even more heinous he’s planning to drop on us, when we least expect it. Personally, I’m afraid it’s going to be a picture of the inside of that menstrual freezer he mentioned last week. *Shiver*

In the meantime, Bryan’s training to try and dunk a basketball continues. Truly excited to see where this takes us.

Shameless self-promotion corner

As I alluded to earlier, I had two fun pieces come out at work this week — the first, my aforementioned heavily researched piece about weird things happening to famous historic people's body parts, and the second, a roundup of people’s very funny commentary about the new movie Wicker.

These were both really fun to write, and I now have an incredible working knowledge of Einstein’s brain’s escapades. Hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed putting them together!

Randomly selected animal cutie

The World Dog Surfing Championships took place last week in Pacifica, California (famous, obviously, for the Pacifica Taco Bell), and just look at these guys:

I love this for them, and am actually super disappointed I missed last night’s ESPN broadcast of the event. Who won the most hardware, you ask? This Lab named Rosie from Santa Cruz.

If you need to kill some time, I highly recommend hopping over to their Instagram page and watching some of the videos. These pups are having the time of their lives, and it’s super fun and adorable.

That’s it from me this week! We’re off to see Young the Giant and Cold War Kids at Northerly Island tonight, and then I plan to spend the rest of my weekend slugging it up in sweatpants. Have a good one!
K