GUYS, WE DID IT.
It’s the very last Friday of 2023, and we made it through the year (mostly) unscathed!
My attempt to stay off social media this week has gone relatively well! The main takeaway for me is that I’d like to be more intentional about hopping on instead of mindlessly scrolling when I have more than 1 second of downtime. Plus, all that extra focus meant we got a ton done in the apartment this week, and it will definitely be fully up and running by the end of the year!
I have a tiny bit more left to organize in the office, but it should be pretty quick. I spent a fair amount of time in there yesterday cleaning my desk (though to be honest, a bunch of it was also playing Against the Storm (very fun and very addicting)). I took care of a few things that had been sitting around since we moved — untangling some little decorative fairy lights and gluing my favorite bowl from Honeystone Studio1 back together because it got broken.
It looks pretty good, though imperfect. And you know what else is imperfect? The skin on my thumb, because I got ceramic glue on it and I can’t get it off. (This isn’t your Kindergarten cover-your-palm, peel-off Elmer’s, friends. And FWIW, I never actually did that because it really grosses me out.) I guess it’ll wear off at some point, but WOW I hate having stuff on my hands. UGH.
Anyway. Remember how for the last couple of weeks I said I was going to get started on this recap email early, so I didn’t have to do it all today? Well I did! I started at 10:30 PM last night. (Procrastination!) But it’s all done!
So, without further ado, here’s some highlights from TMI in 2023!
Thank Yous
First up today: many, many thanks to Michael, TMI’s newest paid subscriber!!
Thank you forever and ever for supporting TMI!!
Resolution = Resolved
In the first post of 2023, I dropped a New Year’s Resolution:
I have a few things I’d like to do! Hopefully this year you’ll see a new logo and a little nicer theming throughout.
And I did this! In December, but who’s counting? In fact, I feel like this is probably better than a regular New Year’s Resolution, because I actually remembered I needed to do it and did it at the end of the year.
In that same post, I said:
Still no plans to make any paid tiers though. This trash will remain free of charge!
Politifact has determined this statement is: partially true!
You can still read my garbage free of charge, but you can now support TMI with actual money if you like!
Rich Boys Gone Wild
What a year for rich boys!! Elon Musk2 tried his best to destroy his favorite toy (Twitter) while challenging Mark Zuckerberg to a cage match. Javier Millei showed off his 5 cloned dogs, and Tom Brady put off his Fox Sports job to pursue stand-up. (Any word on how that’s going? I didn’t catch his Netflix special, I guess.)
A whole group of rich boys went down to see the Titanic in a shitty submarine, which didn’t end well for any of them.
And everyone’s favorite freak, Bryan Johnson, regaled us with never-ending news about things like zapping his penis, looking for a girlfriend, and taking wet pics with his dad and son (blood boy).
Rats Rats Rats
Rats remained adorable in 2023! NYC released a Transit app that is essentially a rat tracker and I found RatTok and spent hours watching a live stream of rats eating trash in NYC. We also learned about Rat Snacks from Mia Mercado and saw adorable drawings from Gabrielle Drolet.
Brands Lost Their Minds
M&Ms released a bag of Brown, Green, and Purple M&Ms to empower women. American Girl created 90s themed dolls that were labeled “historical figures.” The Sims added a layoff add-on as a personal attack on me.
And — not to be outdone — JUST THIS WEEK Pop-Tarts sponsored a bowl game where their Pop-Tart mascot was lowered into a giant toaster at the end and then “cooked” and served to the winning football team.
Yes — their live mascot was lowered into a giant toaster, and a cooked pastry emerged. Here’s the video. (Shoutout to the guy that says “RIP in Peace” as the mascot sinks into the toaster.)
Also, a guy tried to interview the Pop-Tart mascot, which resulted in the weirdest interaction I could have imagined:
THIS MAN IS BEING FED A POP-TART BY A POP-TART. And it made “soft grunting noises”????? ARE BRANDS OKAY, GUYS3??
As I said back in March — America deserves heinous mascots. I honestly could not be more thrilled about this one, but I guess he’s dead now. Bummer.
We Dove Deep
I published 8 Deep Dives this year, my favorites on important topics like NSYNC’s "I Want You Back" music video, Amazon’s Prime Day, the naming conventions of desserts (I’m on to you, throat lozenges), my vintage trunk, and all my writing stats for the year.
And I had time to do those, because…
Hot Girl Layoffs
I got laid off! I was ominously making jokes about it being Friday the 13th and how I didn’t want to do any work the week before.
But it wasn’t just me! Hundreds of thousands of people were laid off this year (including my hubby and some close friends!). And the M&M spokescandies got laid off, too! It’s been a tough year.
Maybe the worst part? Having no job made me think I could refinish furniture.
Replacing flooring in a home near me
My California apartment complex constantly replaced flooring in a home near me!
Now that our time there is up I can actually see how often this happened, and it was WAY TOO OFTEN. I wonder if they replaced our floor when we moved out. They certainly painted. I know because we paid for it out of our deposit. 🙄
Fiona and Fritzy
We saw tons and tons of cute animals this year, but as always, I’m back to my faves: the Cincinnati Zoo’s hippos. Here’s my favorite pic from this year:
IN 2024 I WILL TRAVEL TO SEE THE CINCINNATI ZOO HIPPOS. I STATE IT HERE FOR GOD AND THE ENTIRE WORLD TO SEE. I mean it!!
And, just like last year, I’ll leave you with the wonderful cleverness of Jesse McLaren and his NYE glasses test:
What are we thinking here? I kind of like the first one, personally.
That’s it for me for 2023. See you on the flip side! Have a great New Year’s!
K
I love her work so much. I bought the bowl at a street fair in Palo Alto this summer. I’m currently stalking the site to see if she’ll put up a new one, so don’t go in there and buy up all the tiny bowls, you rapscallions!!
I mentioned him so many times in this newsletter there’s literally no way to stick them all in one link, so here’s a search for ALL OF THEM.
No. No, they are not.
That is too many floor replacements! Happy end of 2023!